Top 10s

6/23/22

Once again, I’m trying to get a grip on the fact that sports that I care about are winding down to a close. I’m going to do a preview for Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals tomorrow so stay tuned, but I don’t want to talk about baseball when it’s in the middle of their 300 games a season. So, we’re back to another top 10 list. This top 10 list is my top 10 superheroes of all time.

What am I looking for in best superheroes out there? Some of the things that were taken into consideration when making this list are the superpowers that come with them, like if I was in this position, how cool would it be if I could fly, not die etc. Some other things are how cool they are in pop culture through movies and just how badass they are in general. Finally, I’m choosing general superheros, not just how they evolve in places like the MCU or DC universe. Spiderman, for example, is straight up spiderman, not Tom Holland in an Iron Man suit. So to start off this list, number 10 is Morbius.

Ok Morbius isn’t on the list, but how fucking funny is it that this movie dropped the ball this bad just because of Twitter.

10. Green Lantern. This is going to be very controversial. Yes the movie sucked (except it had Blake Lively in it) but imagine how sick it would be to have this superpower. You have the ability to make whatever you want with a fucking ring. Thanks so sick. Also in the cartoon Justice League shows, Green Lantern is pretty cool. He’s not as much of a loser personality wise compared to the cartoon versions of number 9

9. Aquaman. Again controversial. But think about it, you could rule the sea, that’s fucking cool dude. You can breathe underwater and summon all the sea creatures to you and you rule Atlantis. Call me crazy, but I think that’s pretty nuts. Not to mention, you get a cool looking trident that lets you move water like a waterbender (top 10 fake weapons list coming soon). I’m also not thinking of the nerdy cartoon aquaman that made Mermaid man look swaggy but Jason Momoa’s Aquaman was badass.

8. Magneto. This took me a while to consider, but I think he’s in a solid spot on the list. In this day and age, the ability to move metal with your mind basically means you can move anything in the world. You could even move transformers with your mind if they were real. I feel like this one is pretty self explanatory as to why it belongs on the list, not to mention in movies he’s been cast pretty well between Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender.

7. Superman. The Man of Steel. Kal El. Clark Kent. SHAQ!! If he wasn’t on this list I’d call myself insane, but he can’t go higher on this list for many reasons. One, he has too many superpowers. Whatever superpower you can think of off the top of your head he probably has, which is kinda lame. He’s like the teacher’s pet of superheroes, like get over it. Plus Superman has a ton of responsibility with all those superpowers, not to mention half the world hates him because they think he’ll destroy them. He does have the perfect mindset of a superhero and Henry Cavill makes Superman look a lot more badass and personable in Man of Steel.

6. Hulk. The Incredible Hulk has always been one of my favorite superheroes ever. The only reason why he isn’t higher on my list is that he is publicly hated. The military is constantly chasing puny Banner, only to get smashed in the end. If I was the hulk I wouldn’t be able to live a normal life (obviously), plus I’d have no use if I didn’t turn into the Hulk. There would be no reason to not imprison me. At least Bruce Banner is smart as shit, I’m just a normal guy.

5. Iron Man. Playboy, Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist. Do I need to say more? All I have to do is wear a dope suit and I can fly around and shoot bad guys? Done deal. It might be controversial to have him up here since his superpower is money as some people think, but he’s also smart as shit so that has to count for something. RDJ will go down as the GOAT for being Tony Stark, who. Is. Iron Man.

4. Batman. The Dark Knight. The Caped Crusader. Vengeance. Batman is compared to Iron Man a ton because they are very similar with their dollar bills, but Batman in my opinion is way more badass than Iron Man. Ya Affleck butchered his role as Bruce Wayne but so what, He still had cool training montages and a cool suit. The new Batman with Michael Patterson was awesome too with more of a detective side to the superhero, and Christian Bale is just iconic, so no doubt Batman deserves a spot in the top 5 and the best DC superhero on the list.

Honorable Mention: Before we dive into the top 3 I want to give the list for honorable mentions, which include Morbius (just because it’s funny) Wonder Woman, Star-Lord, and Spiderman. It also includes unconventional but badass superheroes like Star-Lord, The Punisher, The Ghost Rider, and The Human Torch. There are also superheroes with too much responsibility that I can’t get over like Prof. X, Dr. Strange, and Captain Marvel, where if you’re not on your game then the world could fall apart. Finally, shoutouts to the only 2 OG Avengers not on the list, Black Widow and Hawkeye.

3. The Wolverine. He’s badass, he can’t die, and nobody hates him. Hugh Jackman brings the cool ass character to life as a fan favorite from all the X-Men movies and capped it off with an awesome movie in Logan. I think it would be cool as shit to have bone or Adamantium claws come out of your hands, heal instantly, and not die. Being mortal is overrated. Finally, riding around on that motorcycle sounds pretty cool. I’m not a motorcycle guy at all, but when Logan does it, it just looks right.

2. Captain America. The First Avenger. What’s not to hate with this guy? He’s the best example of what it means to be a superhero mentally with bravery fearlessness and all that shit, plus he’s just so cool. He literally represents the greatest country ever and he uses a fucking shield for crying out loud. That’s pretty fucking nuts. He was portrayed amazingly by Chris Evans and I know he wants to get away from the role and do something else, but he will never not be Steve Rogers. Absolute GOAT.

1. Thor. A lot of different tiebreakers between him and Captain Rogers. One is that he’s a literal god, and the ruler of a planet? World? Realm? Whatever you want to call Asgard. He uses a hammer and can control thunder which sounds like a dope ass superpower and weapon to have. I also think it’s important to not that Thor seems like a guy in the movies and in comics that likes to party. I mean he is Viking so that means he’s a big beer guy I guess. Thor is pretty funny too, and overall is a well-rounded superhero.